What is happening?!

15:49, 29 Mar 2021

Half-Life Three has been an ongoing meme for what feels like a lifetime, with little-to-no information being shared about whether Gordon Freeman, The G-Man, and headcrabs would be making an appearance yet again. 

That all changed when Half-Life: Alyx randomly appeared, albeit in a VR format, and fresh hope was given for a return to City 17. 

Well, today there's been even more headf*ckery as a new song just dropped, featuring none other than the genius behind Half-Life himself, Gabe Newell. Aptly named Valve Song: COUNT TO THREE, it features Ellen McLain (the original GLaDOS from Portal), The Stupendium & Gabe Newell. 

The whole song completely sums up how us Half-Life fans have felt for the last 17 years since Half-Life 2 was released, with lyrics sang by a cartoon Gabe saying: "It's not easy keeping busy, every season brings another reason not to make a game! I had it all but tried new things, true, it didn't get us very far. Between controllers and machines you still picked a rusty old crowbar. Nobody sees me as my charming self, a soul that's never truly free... so just for once forget the Summer Sale and give it up for Half-Life..... Alyx!" They had us in the first half, not gonna lie. 

The song continues: "The Valve's been stuck, corroded by the money. Has not been oiled for years. We didn't even hope to see it running. But now you're bound to learn how to count to three!"


The original voice of Portal's GLaDOS then appears, singing: "Well here we are again, except we're long forgotten. My circuits niggling up and down my spine. He said it's worth the wait, his weight keeps pressing harder. But Alyx gave us hope - we'll rise and shine!"

This comes on the same day that Valve leaker Tyler McVicker claimed that there's actually two new games on the way - one called Citadel and another with the codename HLX. 

Until the news is actually confirmed, we're going to keep listening to this song on repeat. Fun fact - the song is two minutes and 59 seconds long. So maybe we're really never going to get to three?



Images via YouTube

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