Hideo Kojima’s Madame Web review speaks volumes
When it comes to gaming legends, few have reached the heights of Hideo Kojima. Helping define the stealth genre with Metal Gear, he nearly scared the pants off us with the canned Silent Hills, and since leaving Konami to found Kojima Productions, he has only become more renowned.
Delivering the out-there Death Stranding in 2019, he's getting even more inventive. Death Stranding 2 looks like one of the most batsh*t games ever, while it's anyone's guess what OD is about. Beyond that, we've got high hopes for Physint. With such a reputation, Kojima's opinion is revered in the entertainment industry.
Hideo Kojima gives damning Madame Web review
More than just expressing his love of video games, Kojima regularly gives us an update on what he's been watching. It's become a recurring joke that movies he loves will get the full review treatment while ones he's not keen on get a short but sweet takedown. Just look at this review of Wonka compared to Netflix's Leave the World Behind.
Getting 2024 off to a flying start, Kojima has been reaching deep into the popcorn bucket to watch the likes of Matthew Vaughn's Argylle and S.J. Clarkson's Madame Web. The latter is part of Sony's Spider-Man Universe (SSU) and stars Dakota Johnson as the titular Cassie Web. You might've heard of it, but not for the right reasons.
Madame Web has gone viral for its dated tropes and laughable dialogue like, "He was in the Amazon with my mom when she was researching spiders right before she died." Considering it's from the writing team behind 2022's Morbius, what else did you expect? Madame Web has been slammed, and apparently, Kojima also wasn't a fan.
Posting a concise review of "Saw "Madame Web" at the cinema," it's thought of as the ultimate shade from Kojima. Compare it to the essay of love he gave Argylle, praising Vaughn's movie and saying: "A first-rate filmmaker decieves the world. Very satisfying. Recent espionage films have become too realistic."
Kojima's Madame Web review is arguably worse than a bad one, with one fan chuckling, "That’s all I need to know about the movie 🤣." Another added, "If I was a movie director and saw Hideo Kojima tweet out 'Saw [x]' without saying anything else, I'd change careers and face," and a third said, "I’m sorry for your loss of time."
Madame Web joins an unfortunate club
Madame Web is in some diverse company, with Kojima only giving a handful of other titles a one-sentence review. It's thought that the gaming auteur goes with the mantra of, "If you can't say anything nice, don't say much at all."
Others on Kojima's hit list include box office bombs like The Mummy and Indiana Jones 5 but record-breaking successes like The Super Mario Bros. Movie. He also seems to have a bit of a vendetta against Brie Larson, as 2019's Captain Marvel and 2023's The Marvels both got the cold shoulder.
Still, we're not sure what the Super Mario Bros. Movie did wrong, especially as most loved it, and it's the highest-grossing video game movie of all time. We'll admit that we definitely agree with him on the Adam Driver-led 65.
Hideo Kojima is the film critic the world never knew it needed, and with 2024 still having a packed slate that includes Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire, Deadpool & Wolverine, and Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes, we're excited to see what he thinks. Also, come on Kojima, where's your Dune: Part Two review?
