Mei Juice - Rumours from the Scrimbux Stock Exchange
Welcome back to the scrimbux stock exchange, where… wait, weren’t you here yesterday? Anyway... where the currency is nothing but unfounded conf … I know, you’ve heard the intro. Do you think I come up with a new one for each group that comes through here? And now you actually expect me to have new information? That’s a lot you are putting on me here. Can I at least get the disclaimer out? It’s a legal thing. Yeah, go cry to your congressman about it. Ahem...
You’d be a fool to take anything here at face value, but you’re pulled in by the promised holy grain of truth (though it might really just be salt) buried deep under the building, conveniently harvested from the sodium chloride mines of the teams' player and staff pool, and boy that thing swole up with hero pools. Invest now, gamble, and throw it all away. Come in, come in. What did you say? Of course it’s too early to say anything with confidence, that is the entire point, Stupid! No, no nose plugs today but take these face masks. We’re talking about Asian teams!
The Asian team situation
Hah, I can’t believe I got you to put these on. You look marvelous with the moustache I drew on though. How do you think the coronavirus works, stupid? I just talk about Asian teams and you might contract something? Alright, Veronica Anti-Vax. Pick up a book, then smack yourself with it until you feel the sense filling you. Anywhoosle. Of course the Asian teams have been in a challenging situation. Some teams had to relocate which hurt their scrim time. On average, most Overwatch League teams are running three blocks a day and even missing one or two days puts you back by a lot in this ever changing meta. That doesn’t necessarily mean that those scrimming in China and Korea have a worse adaptation to the meta, and we’ll probably only get to see who has the better idea of how things work once they compete against the North American market in real games. From Big Tony’s… notes… we can deduce that McCree was not played much, unlike in NA. We did some market research and it turns out, China’s favorite squeezed fruit is Mei juice with some Reaper. While North America (and especially certain teams) run quite a bit of D.Va/Rein, it seems to be the go-to in the East. Some teams seem to have been doing a fair bit of internal scrimming, with designated A and B teams much like London. Let’s get specific.
Charge and the Hunters
There’s been a lot of speculation around the Charge and some experts rank them very highly. In terms of their starting line-up, the player’s with the highest scrim stock to be starters are Eileen, Nero, neptuNo and then as expected, Shu, Cr0ng and Rio. According to scrimbux insiders Happy, Chara and Wya don’t see much scrim time, at least recently. How well are they doing? Is it just assumed I give you this information without a consultancy fee?
Now the Hunters have been in a mysterious scrimbux bubble, perhaps because they are once again trying to put their own individual spin on things, perhaps because they’ve only been scrimming non-traders at this institution. No, I’m not just holding back. Hop off me!
Sparkling surprises
Spark stock, eh? There isn’t too much to say about them other than that interestingly enough, GodsB is still doing some heavy lifting for that team. At 23, we’re talking about some old man strength there. His hero pool makes it hard for him to ever be rendered useless and with him playing like that, we’ll probably see a lot from him in 2020. Bebe is the second stand out player on the Spark and has so far not let Coldest overtake him as a starter. Guxue is a permanent starter and Ria has largely been placed onto the B team. Bazzi is his old W-pressing self, making him look either imposing or bottish depending on the day and the team he plays against. The big surprise is that M1ka seems to be starting almost exclusively and IDK hasn’t even been in the lobbies to spectate. We don’t know what happened to IDK, but hope it’s just a temporary thing. I hope so anyway, I got my son’s college tuition on that man’s stock and he looked irreplaceable last season.
Performing Lip service
The Dragons are all around solid but not yet the powerhouse their roster on paper promises to be. To add a little context to the Void stock drop and the eventual correction, the Scrimbux Stock Exchange reinforces the opinion that Void is a top offtank performer in scrims as well.
LeeJaeGon is adapting well to playing Lucio in the Dragons’ system and has picked up Baptiste as well. Izayaki is also a set starter who seemingly transforms how the team plays over Luffy. Fleta showed off his meta resistance and resulting rock solid market projection by showing an exceptional Mei, beautifully weaving in left clicks and having ice-cold wall timings. Perhaps this wasn’t all that unexpected, but we at the SSE were surprised to see that Fearless started getting scrim preferences almost immediately. Lest we forget that he’s one of the carriers of the 0-40 mark of the Dragon from season 1 and yet he seems to be making a comeback on a potentially top tier team.
You’ve maybe heard some coaches speaking positively about him and he’s indeed the player that can rival KSP I hinted at yesterday. We’re of course talking about Shanghai’s new rookie Lip. I know a few might be skeptical. We invited an insider to give you the deeds on Shanghai Dragons’ new prospect. Felix, if you may.
“No name Lip, okay dude. Listen, dud. Listen. Imma do something… okay, okay. Don’t tell this to anyone, okay kids. Let’s keep this between me and you guys, okay? No name Lip, has the JUICE. Okay, I don’t give a *&^% , if ...dud, dud.. if he’s young, if he looks like he’s nawwt... dud, dud... If he’s competing against Diem. I don’t give a *&^%. Okay, no name Lip, when you see him on Sombra, Oh maou gawd! And when he’s on Widow: GOD DAMN, I DON’T GIVE A *&^% WHERE HE PLAYED! Korean solo queue, BlossoM, frikken Maxstill SomeDay!”
Thanks, Felix. That was… weird. If the group wants to follow me down here...quickly...let’s get away from him. Yes, that’s holy water I’m sprinkling behind us, don’t worry about it.
Dynasty or die nasty?
Are you making a profit on a million-dollar investment? Giving it to the English would be a nice gesture, but you gotta put a little bit more support behind it, if you catch my drift.
Marvel sees about 60-70% scrim time at the moment, probably putting Gesture in a non-starting position for now. Bdosin hasn’t been seen in scrims either and the other flex support, Creative, is playing a decent but quiet game. Illicit likely has no chance of seeing much playtime. Profit is still Profit and he simply won’t stop doing it, expect top tier performances in 2020 too. Against him, everyone is playing G.O.A.T.s. I believe Legday tried to influence the market by claiming that the Dynasty were trying to teach Profit to perform mitosis and clone himself. Well, ol’ chicken legs wasn’t entirely wrong but science hasn’t gone that far yet. Instead, they got Pine and Profit a hotel room last year with all-you-can-drink appletinis, Victoria’s Secret apparel and a single copy of Martin Best’s Gigli with Ben Afflek and Jennifer Lopez. What else are you going to do in that situation? 9 months later, a beautiful baby boy called FITS was born. He took a while to fully mature, but now he’s one of the most scary DPS players around. While he might not be as ridiculously flexible as Profit, he makes up for it with just absurd aim. Buy FITS stock now while it’s underappreciated.
Now get the hell out, I don’t want to see you for at least a week. Get out! Hey, wait a second! You dropped something.
The Scrimbux Stock Exchange tour guide gives you a wink and hands you a folded note. You open it outside.
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