Fans Demand Nintendo Give Us Back Wario's Ass Back
Got buns hun? From Bowser to Donkey Kong, Nintendo characters are known for having some big badonkadonks - which has led to some pretty thirsty fan art doing the rounds online. Be warned, not all of it is suitable for the work computer. Sadly, the gaming giant might've got onto the trend, and in a travesty for the ages, one moustachioed madman has been caught in the crossfire.
This wouldn't be the first time Nintendo has outraged its fandom by slicing some cake off one of its characters. You might remember when gamers kicked off that Zero Suit Samus had her butt and chest nerfed. There's a fine line between giving a character what they deserve and appealing to those who are horny on Main, so be your own judge when it comes to Wario.
Give Us Wario's Ass, You Cowards!
On March 19, someone tweeted that Nintendo has "f*****g ruined Wario's ass" when Mario Kart 8 Deluxe added its massive DLC. Although some were annoyed anyway that we had to pay to play classic tracks from the franchise's history, that's nothing compared to this outrage.
Sadly, a scour of the internet shows that the Change.org petition titled "Bring Back Wario's Ass" is no longer available. Did Nintendo already have it scrubbed from the internet? Our only hope now is that someone from up high sees the change and reverts Wario's dump truck from an angular Dorito back to is peachy perfection.
We're not alone in our love of Wario's bountiful booty. In response to the tweet about the petition, one supporter wrote, "Finally a petition I can get behind!" Another added, "Truly, this is for the sake of justice," while a third concluded: "This isn't so much horny as it is a fragment of the universe that should not be messed with."
Stop Nerfing Asses
Over the years, Wario has become known for celebrating his curves. Just like Mario is the portly partner to Luigi, we have the stick-thin Waluigi to Wario's ample aesthetic. We doubt the Wario Land or WarioWare games would be as popular if Wario kept dipping out to a Weight Watcher's meeting. Also, who's to say he hasn't been putting in some serious squats at the gym to perfect his peach? In an era of body positivity, we're shocked Nintendo has nerfed his ass.
Wario isn't the only victim of this posterior purge, and you'll know that we here at GGRecon are champions of big butts (and we cannot lie). Behaviour Interactive was dragged across the coals for nerfing Pyramid Head's ass, because yes, even horrific monsters need junk in the trunk. The DbD devs even addressed the controversial change, so there's hope Nintendo could follow suit. After all, Wario needs something comfortable to sit on as his throne as Nintendo's coin-grabbing GOAT.