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Elden Ring Fans Are Having An Adult Argument About Horse Anatomy

Elden Ring Fans Are Having An Adult Argument About Horse Anatomy
FromSoftware | Apple

Written by 

Tom Chapman

Posted 

7th Jan 2022 12:08

There's a saying in the industry, "D*cks get clicks." It sounds like FromSoftware is going with this mentality when it comes to Elden Ring, as a bizarre debate about the anatomy of a horse has rocked the game's community. Some of you are sure to be galloping away from this one. 

From the long history of Soulslike games, we know it's a visceral genre that doesn't skimp on the blood and guts. The likes of Demon's Souls and Bloodborne definitely aren't aimed at kids, and while Elden Ring is much of the same, we didn't expect a horse's ding-dong to be dominating its post-release conversation.

Why Are Elden Ring Players Obsessed With A Horse's Crotch?

According to Kotaku, a now-deleted Reddit post went viral as it delved deep into the anatomy of horses in Elden Ring. The original post was titled "WARNING VERY IMPORTANT DISCOVERY" and included a blurry screengrab from the gameplay. 

Here, someone went to great lengths (pardon the pun) to circle a shadowy area which could be the horse's bits and bobs. The debate soon raged on whether this was a trick of the light or the stallions of Elden Ring will be packing.

One horny on main gamer wrote, "Hopefully this is patched. I want a flopper." Another added, "This is a cursed image in my mind now," while a third added, "It’s soft and flops in the wind while exploring the world and will stiffen up in combat due to the excitement of death. You get the best of both wangs."

Someone a little more mature concluded, "To be fair, what you’re looking at here is probably just the sheath, with the penis retracted inside." Well, thanks for clearing that one up. 

Is A Horse's Anatomy Really That Important? 

FromSoftware

Elden Ring isn't even out yet, and we're already obsessed with crawling over its realism. You might remember when the gameplay trailer introduced us to Pot Boy. This seemingly friendly NPC was there to guide you across the Lands Between, but instead, you were all obsessed with wanting to drink what was inside him.

Even though FromSoftware hasn't commented on Wang-gate yet, we're expecting the developer to explain what's going on or possibly add a horse patch in the near future. Then again, we can see where this one is going. Just like someone modded Thomas the Tank Engine into Resident Evil Village, it won't be long before massive horse appendages are flopping around Elden Ring

With Elden Ring trotting into action on February 25, we can't wait to see whether horse d*cks are really such a "big" deal for the Tarnished. 

 

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