Satire: Scrimbux Stock Exchange Enters Chaotic Battle With Dallas Fuel Supporters

Over the last couple of months, the Dallas Fuel Scrimbux stock had been rising after a major restructuring. The org had bit the bullet, written off prior failures, and spent top dollar investing in technology more adapted to the current market. After several seasons of internal management issues and failing in outdated player assets that the Fuel largely couldn’t sell off their shelves, the Fuel acquired a majority stake in the assets of South Korean Contenders organisation Element Mystic. 

Previously, emotional investors had criticised the Fuel, stating that the team had been driven by a nostalgic love for what was good in the past, which were about as useful as physical copies for video games in the broadband era. The shortcomings of the team became clear in quarterly reports, attesting to the Fuel’s inability to make stage finals, deep runs in tournaments and season playoffs, as well as a proven track record of impairing the value of some of the best South Korean assets on the market.

Under the new business strategy, the Fuel acquired Element Mystic assets, and Dallas fans regained new trust in the company’s trajectory. A Reddit user by the name of u/DallasFuelValue (DFV) had heavily invested into the Scrimbux stock after the conclusion of season 1 of the Overwatch League. “When I heard that the Fuel had re-signed their players for season 2, I was initially upset but then quickly realised the opportunity,” said DFV in an interview with GGRecon, elaborating his strategy. 

“When Scrimbux investors saw the roster at the start of season 2 and finally around the middle of season 3, a lot of them shorted the Fuel expecting them to remain mediocre at best. I realised that this much suffering for a parent org as successful as Team Envy was not going to last. Eventually, they would bring the war chest. So did I sell? Hell no, I double down each season and bought the dip!”

Scrimbux analysts around the market had meanwhile shorted the Fuel heavily, counting on the mediocrity of the team to be indivisible from its franchise. After season 1’s stage 4 performance, the Fuel supporters, however, realised that there was always going to be a real chance for a so-called “end of season meta squeeze”. An end of season meta squeeze occurs when a developer thinks that its esports viewers are too bored out of their mind to endure season playoffs on a similar patch, almost entirely invalidating the effort of all teams over the regular season and heavily weighting the end of season performance favourably. This gives less deserving teams a real chance at winning it all by rolling the dice on a new meta, exciting the American sport's fans heart.

Dallas Fuel supporters realised they were onto something, given that every single season of the Overwatch League showed the pattern of a meta squeeze before its playoffs. Moreover, a precedent had been set by its core roster from the Paris Eternal beating the San Francisco Shock due to a milder meta squeeze in the Summer Showdown.

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“We’re not fair-weather investors! Everything is possible. Hold your stocks until the meta squeeze! Winstons together strong! TO HORIZON LUNAR COLONY!!!” a retail Scrimbux investor in the Fuel told GGRecon, adding “I’m not a Scrimbux advisor. You shouldn’t listen to me; I have 2200 hours on Brig. I’m permanently damaged.”

A small wrench in the works of the Fuel investors was thrown by Scrimbux hedge fund Moosey DeLoosey who had invited the Fuel to the NetEase Esports X Tournament last weekend at which the Fuel tanked.

Fuel fans were outraged at the early returns: “Oh, so you’re telling me real game results outside of scrims suddenly count towards something? I don’t think so. Otherwise, Diya would be in Overwatch League and we know how that went! HOLD! SP9RK1E HANDS! RANK 1 IS NOT A MEME! I’m not a Scrimbux advisor, I have over 3 million channel points in Bren’s stream, it has done unspeakable things to me, and I can’t be saved.”

Perhaps not entirely irrelevant to the story, after the company had partnered with GameStop in late March 2019, DFV also bought the company's stock at $8.65, becoming a multi-millionaire overnight this week. “There is a lot of time for the team to improve and we shouldn’t panic, but if needed, I’ll donate the funds for viol2t and Alarm to hastr0 if I have to. I don’t care.”

 

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Image via Blizzard Entertainment & Dallas Fuel